Here it is: I am no longer an athlete…but I will be one again. It’s incredible how quickly you lose it when you don’t train all the damn time. Wow!

My morning started out GREAT! I’d lost 3.2lbs and felt back on track – finally. A sense of accomplishment and confidence overwhelmed me. I didn’t feel quite so sad about everything. The race was a mile from our house so we walked there, instead of drove. My dear husband posed with a rhino (don’t ask) and my best friend (Alicia – that bitch from the earlier post) took pictures in front of the first place finisher spot and we contemplated grabbing the medals and running home.

The horn blew and we were off. And by off I mean I ran about 13 steps and was done. I knew Kevin and Alicia would drag my ass along, yelling at me encouraging me to run, not walk. I even tried to show them shortcuts on the path – apparently short cuts aren’t allowed. Noted. I told them to run their skinny asses ahead and just go. Leave me to die. They refused. ANYHOW – we SWOGGed (speed walk jogging) and by SWOGGing, I mean we ran down the hills, for the most part. There were two women behind us chatting about Divergent and comparing all of the differences between the book and movie. SPOILER ALERT, BITCH! STFU!  I’ve read the book, but not seen the movie yet. So, needless to say, I had to run when they were in earshot. Kevin told me he’d just start telling me all of the plot twists for Game of Thrones (since he’s read them) as motivation to run. If looks could  kill… Finally – after what felt like 72 hours and a full Ironman, we crossed the finish line.

DEAD LAST

I won’t lie – it was terribly frustrating for me. I realized how much of my athleticism I had lost. It’s frustrating to know what your body could once do vs. what it can do now. We finished dead last. My biggest race fear came true. The good news, is when I found out we finished dead last, this happened:

1. My husband reminded me why I married him.

2. It made me appreciate everything I’ve overcome in the last 6 months. I was able to give myself Forgiveness again.

3. It gave me a new goal, determination, and focus.

Here’s my newly added bib on my stacker and my fancy new shirt!

This was definitely a step in the right direction. Before I wanted to do my 30DOR because I *thought* I should – for SMF, to help my funk, etc. I didn’t have a sound driving force. Now I do.  I want to train again because I like how my body feels when I do. I like the energy it gives me. I like the endorphin rush. I like me better when I exercise more. Oh, what am I training for? No clue. But at least I’ll feel damn good about myself when it happens.

Shit’s about to get real, guys. My hipster, selfie running picks are making a come back next week.