I always return to writing. It feels good. I’d be remiss if I told you I don’t have reservations about how raw and vulnerable I am at times, especially since my body is most of my content, but if I can make literally one person feel not so alone, I have accomplished my mission. In my last post three and a half years ago, I said I’d make a come back soon, and holy shit…I actually did it.
Ok. Let’s catch up the last few years.
2018: I saw this picture of me at Brooke’s third birthday party and was SHOOK. I mean SHOOOOOOK. I decided I had to figure this shit out once and for all. I am raising two young girls in a brutal world. I wasn’t sure how to fix it, but I was ready to try.
2019: I went back to WW. I went back to Keto. I tried IF. I did a round of W30 (though that one was good in hindsight). Regardless, I fell down a spiraled rabbit hole of disordered eating and unsustainable changes. I quit being social because I couldn’t count points. Or it was outside of my eating window. I quit baking because I’d binge on the scraps. I was losing weight but I was fucking miserable. I realized I did NOT want my girls growing up and seeing this. I spent an entire year learning what not to do.
2020: I stopped dieting. I unfollowed everyone on social media that promoted dieting. I learned moderation. I tracked macros because I had done so much undereating that I didn’t know how to fuel my body anymore. I went from eating like 900 calories a day on WW to closer to 2000 a day. I focus primarily on whole foods and try to eat minimally processed. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and alopecia aerata while pregnant with Lily. I worked on healing myself through nourishment. Through all of 2020 I worked on my relationship with food. I stopped demonizing foods and realized I really like vegetables. I’d rather have spaghetti squash over spaghetti but I can’t quit real peanut butter and queso. Once nothing was off limits, I was able to successfully quit binging and the weight has just kinda fallen off. I have finally found food freedom.
2021: I decided to commit to exercising 5-6 days a week. And I did. I purchased a beachbody on demand membership and haven’t been to the “gym” once. I discovered a love of lifting weights and it truly changed my body composition. So…now I look like this:
I DID THAT. Buuuuuuuuuut, there’s one slight thing. I’d like to introduce you to Tummothy. Tummothy creates a lot of sores and aches and pains now. Tummothy hangs heavy on my body. Tummothy takes a toll.
In exactly three weeks from today Tummothy will make his great departure, as I am having an extended FDL tummy tuck and breast lift. My Plastic Surgeon says he does not anticipate doing any lipo, as he can feel my hip bones while I’m standing. He says I am basically bone and loose skin now. At some point I might do my thighs and arms, too, but one thing at a time! I plan on documenting the wild ride that plastics will be on my IG account, if you want to follow along there.
So, there it is. My quick’ish update. I’m going to try and get back to writing weekly, so hopefully it’s not another 3.5 years, y’all. ❤