Fear

Fear

I’m writing this over the course of a few days, maybe a week, maybe two weeks (it’s been two weeks now). I’m not sure yet. Fear is holding me back. Fear is immobilizing.  Fear is temporary; regret is permanent. I found spin 4 years ago. Ok. Correction. I tried a spin bike 4 years and … Continue reading

Far From Dark

Far From Dark

Brooke is 100 days old today. Someone told me I was about to be out of the “100 days of darkness” period. I had no idea what they meant so I looked it up. Apparently, this is a thing. The 100 days of darkness are characterized with terror, being overrun with hormones, sleep deprivation, relationship … Continue reading

Guantanamo Baby Bay

Guantanamo Baby Bay

Yep. It was just as awful as I thought. My only saving grace is that the ladies that work there are super sweet and Brooke doesn’t seem particularly upset when we get there. But… I have a few legit concerns about daycare. Let me start by saying that I once worked at a daycare. I feel … Continue reading

Unfinished Chapters

Unfinished Chapters

I remember hitting 200.2lbs on the scale and the fear being immobilizing. I couldn’t remember ever seeing a 1 in front. For months this paralyzed me. I would teeter right at 200lbs, never once seeing that elusive 1. 200.2, 202, 201.6, always close but never quite there. I was so frustrated. So angry. So desperately … Continue reading

Just Not Ready

Just Not Ready

11 weeks. My sweet, sweet girl was 11 weeks yesterday. It’s hard to imagine a life before her, and nor do I want to. In her short existence she has taught me more about myself and life than my 32 years here has. My mom bought Brooke this sweet outfit and it could not be … Continue reading

I Still Hate Hills

I Still Hate Hills

In case y’all forgot, I hate hills. I’ve always hated hills. Not much has changed. I hung out with my Runner Mom (RM) friend, Angelina today. We spoke earlier in the week and she suggested we take a walk if the weather was nice. The weather was nice.  I wore my fancy new running shoes, … Continue reading

Perspective

Perspective

It’s been a week. Boy, has it been a week. A friend of mine passed away last Sunday. She was only 30, recently married and has a 4 month old son. I feel like it could have just of easily been me. I’ve spent this past week reflecting and realizing that I care too much … Continue reading

First Run

First Run

I nearly died, but I did it. I went on my first actual PP run last week. I got Monster to sleep and had all of my spin stuff out and ready. Cleats by the trainer, clothes, and water. I hopped on my trainer and it just spun all willy nilly. There was practically no resistance. … Continue reading

Mother’s Intuition

Mother’s Intuition

I have to say it: I WAS RIGHT. Looks like my Western University of Google Medicine Medical Degree was spot on. Seriously though, if you think something is wrong and it’s in the pit of your stomach folks, chances are something IS wrong. Don’t push your mother’s intuition aside. You are your child’s biggest champion … Continue reading

Seeking Answers

Seeking Answers

About a week into my dairy free adventure I was repeatedly told I was being crazy and she doesn’t have dairy allergy, backed up by research saying the chances of her having a dairy allergy and being exclusively breastfed is about 2%. Agreed, probably not a dairy allergy but I just have this gut feeling … Continue reading