I Still Hate Hills

In case y’all forgot, I hate hills. I’ve always hated hills. Not much has changed.

I hung out with my Runner Mom (RM) friend, Angelina today. We spoke earlier in the week and she suggested we take a walk if the weather was nice. The weather was nice.  I wore my fancy new running shoes, because motivation, right?

420px-Trango_Towers_2What she did not tell me was that she lived in the Trango Towers subdivision. Holy shit. HILLS FOR DAYS – and apparently we didn’t even go the super hilly way. Which is probably for the best because I don’t believe they send SAG Wagons for neighborhood walks.

There is nothing more motivating to get fit again than someone asking you how C25K is going while you’re crawling up a hill, trying to catch your breath. I believe the conversation went something like this:

RM: How’s C25K going?

Me: *pant* It’s not. *gasp* I have no motivation to bundle Monster up and get out there.

And it’s not going. I haven’t run since then. Ugh. I have SO many reasons excuses for not having run. The main one being that it’s a lot of fucking work with a baby. Like a lot of work.

This is how running goes for kidless people:

  • Pick out cute running attire
  • Lace up cute running shoes
  • Go for  a run

This is how it goes for moms:

  • Rummage through old cute running attire
  • Try to stuff all of your new floppy mom skin into your old compression tights
  • Lose feeling in legs
  • Change into maternity leggings (they kinda look athletic, right?)
  • Determine your bra already smells like sour milk so you might as well not dirty a new one
  • Throw on a dirty shirt
  • Bundle Baby up
  • Strap Baby into carrier,
  • Try to figure out if Baby is screaming because she’s in the carrier or for some other reason
  • Awkwardly get 45lb jogging stroller out
  • Put carrier into stroller
  • Try to calm said screaming Baby
  • Determine Baby has a wet diaper
  • Get carrier out of stroller
  • Remove Baby from the carrier
  • Unbundle Baby
  • Change Baby
  • Calm Baby
  • Rebundle Baby
  • Strap Baby back into carrier
  • Get carrier back into the stroller
  • Look at watch and realize Baby will want to eat in approximately 5 minutes
  • Say fuck it
  • Skip run/walk

Mt.-Huashan-in-China

Anyhow, I was shocked when RunnerMom told me we’d only gone ome mile. I was seriously struggling and sweating like a whore in church.

I sweat. I sweat just thinking about sweat. Which is always so awkward and uncomfortable. I looked like I had just stepped out of the shower. I was losing layers of clothing and watching the sweat just drip down my chest. It’s perfectly acceptable to sweat like this after a fantastic spin class, it’s a little weird when it’s after you’ve just walked one friggin mile in a brisk 50 degree weather.

 

workoutdvdsI pulled all of these out yesterday, as I do realize that I NEED to be active for my own mental health. It’s my therapy. It’s my anti depressant. I need to find a DVD player to put in the spare room so I can put Brooke on her play mat and do work. This seems like it should be somewhat easier than trying to get the whole stroller together. At least until she’s a little older, or the weather is a little nicer…or I stop making excuses.

It’s not running and it’s not cycling and it’s not outside, but it’s something. And I need to accept that something is better than nothing…because panting up a hill isn’t my cup of tea anymore. I’m not that chick that gets easily winded from walking up a hill anymore and I refuse to be her again. So, Jillian Michaels, I hate you, but I will start letting you yell at me again.

Alas, my near death experience climbing the hills in RunnerMom’s neighborhood was well worth with it as I had the experience I think I’ve been needing to remind myself that my chubby bunny ass needs to move more…and not to mention, there’s nothing better than watching these two little cuties hang out.

brookeandholden

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4 thoughts on “I Still Hate Hills

  1. Omg, this was hysterical! And so true. I had a lot of trouble getting out with the baby at first. You can do it though! It just takes practice like anything else. Keep up the blogs! You’re a great writer 😊

  2. “You don’t get this for free people… If you’re looking for an option for Jumping Jacks, well, I’m not going to give it to you. I have 400 lb people that can do jumping jacks, you can do this… You gotta work the little muscles in with the big muscles… I want you to feel like you’re going to die!” I love the 30 Day Shred – it’s been a couple of years since I last did it, but I still know all of Jillian’s lines!

    Do you have a turbo trainer? That would give you another option for working out at home 🙂

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