Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude

Physical Therapy has certainly gotten inside of my head. For the last year or so (holy shit – yes, an entire year), I have clearly had mental issues with exercise. When I can exercise all I want I have ZERO interest in actually doing it. It sounds terrible. It sounds hot and sweaty and gross. It sounds exhausting and miserable. BUT – someone says to me, “You’re not allowed to exercise,” and suddenly my brain is all,

Last week was the first week I was pain free. Upon arrival, I let my Physical Therapist (PT) know how great I felt and he told me to hop on the spin bike for 10. I hadn’t been on a bike in almost a year. I found Spin over two years ago and simply fell inlove. I was doing spin 3 times a week and riding my bike on the weekends. But…then, well, life got crazy. We bought a house exactly a year ago now and the spin class wasn’t as conveinent on my commute anymore so I cancelled my membership, fully convincing myself I’d ride outside. And then well, we got pregnant and riding was a no go. Lost the pregnancy, as well as all motivation to actually do anything for a solid 6 months, BUT then I found some motivation, which was quickly squashed by a car accident and PT….and then, here we are. Alas, I digress. PT and the bike! HEAVEN. I was in heaven. I hopped on and found a really comfortable pace of 90rpms. My PT walked up and says, “Hey – you’re not trying to win the Tour De France – slow down and do what’s comfortable.” To which I explain, “This is comfortable.” He just looks at me. The 10 minutes fly by and I don’t want to stop. A steady, comfortable 90 rpms. The freedom and peace I’ve been so desperately seeking was there again. I unhappily hop off the bike after my 10 minutes and he informs me we are “really going to push it today” to see how my back holds up. Well, the last thing anyone needs to do is make my fat ass feel competitive, because once that starts – I will 100% look like an idiot to prove a point. He has me hold a plank for 20 seconds, 30 seconds, 45 seconds. There is no pain, but the sweat is dripping off of me. I am 99% sure the two highschool kids in there from lost scholarship, atheletic injuries are judging me, and I just don’t give a fuck.

My PT looks at me and says, “Now, I want you to do a kagel while in the plank position.”

Without taking my eyes off of the mat, I choke out, “Excuse me?”

He says, “You’re a lady, you know what a kagel is. It’ll stregthen your plank…and then when your husband asks what your secret is, well…”

I hate my face being wet and the sweat is running down my face, falling and hitting the mat, I wore my glasses because I’ve never broken a sweat in PT before, shit…glasses were a bad choice, the sweat is pooling in them, I’m distracted and nearing a panic attack. I need a towel. I start doing a kagel. “Uhhhh…alright.”

I wish I’d told him I didn’t know what a kagel was and ask him to explain it. I was too “in the zone” to go there. It definitely makes the plank harder. Weird.

He wraps up the torture session with reverse crunches, bicycle crunches, medicine ball work and the shittiest back rub he’s given me to date.

“Danielle, you can go back to cycling, swimming, walking, and some minor running. Start with one mile – not six. Listen to your pain. And come see me in two weeks.”

I stopped listening after, “Danielle, you can go back to cycling.”

I haven’t been able to take my mind off of it. I can go back to spinning. I love spinning. It’s time. No more excuses. So, this happened:

I’ve rejoined and will make it part of my commute again – inconvienent or not. Back to my 6am spin class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Tonight, I will go home and search for all of my gym crap and repack my bag, dust off my spin shoes, and find a water bottle. Not to mention, I love what spin does to my ass…and my husband has no complaints.

I’m still eating an insanely high fat, moderate protein and low carb diet with great success. I’ve lost about 5lbs in 2 weeks, and that includes drinking entirely too much over the weekend. I’ve been eating yummy things like Steak and Eggs for breakfast and Keto Fried Chicken with loaded cauliflower and spinach for dinner. I will say this is the first time in a long time I haven’t felt like I was “dieting” while losing weight. I can go to a bar and have hot wings and a whiskey – and here’s the thing…THAT’S OK! I’m a happy woman.

I’m making positive strides and things are starting to look up. Slow and steady, folks.