As I’m reading Intuitive Eating, 3rd Edition cover to cover I’m falling more and more in love with it.
Today has been successful with food. I found out my Grandma passed away in the night shortly before 8am. The first thing I wanted to do was eat, but I asked myself if I was hungry or upset. Upset was the answer. I waited until I felt it in my stomach at 9:20am. I ate then and stopped eating when I realized it didn’t taste as good and my stomach wasn’t asking for more. I ate a banana, a little peanut butter and some oatmeal. I ate most, threw some away and felt satiated. That’s a success for me.
Intuitive Eating emphasizes the need to separate your food relationship from your fitness relationship, as often the two go hand in hand. I can’t agree more than that.
I am trying to disentangle the web I’ve weaved where my exercise and food intake have some abusive, co-dependent relationship. I want to exercise because it feels good and I honestly enjoy it, not because I’m expecting a pay off on the scale.
The only time I’ve come close to this is while triathlon training. When training I actually enjoy working out, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s because much like losing weight, there is some end goal that I’m trying to meet. The key word there is just that, END. I want to find a relationship with exercise where it’s ingrained in me as part of a daily routine, not me just trying to get to the end.
I can be a damn good wacko while dieting and do all of the things that go with it: restricted eating, timed eating, limited eating, emotional eating, over exercise, guilty exercising, injured exercising.
I’m sick of this dieting mentality.
Dieting? You’re damn right I’m exercising: running, swimming, biking…nutjob style.
Not dieting? Screw working out. What’s the point?
What’s the point? WHAT’S THE POINT, CHUBBY BUNNY?! I feel SO MUCH better when I keep working out. That’s the point! I sleep better, I breathe better, my immune system is a million times better, I exude confidence. The list goes on and on. I only ever stop exercising when my diet cycle deems so: diet, exercise, not quick enough results, frustration, quit…wash, rinse, repeat.
I work out like a beast for a week and weigh in – see no scale change…lose my mind and flip a table: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
I think to myself that maybe it’s my body figuring it out. So, I work out for another week like a beast, get pumped up about it but there is only a TINY scale change…so… I flip two tables instead of one: ┻━┻ ︵ ¯\(ツ)/¯ ︵ ┻━┻
I would like to get to a point where there is no table flipping and I work out because it just makes me feel good. What about you?