Kevin got me the Fitbit Force Wireless Activity + Sleep Wristband for Christmas and I’m in love. Serious love. A down right scandalous love affair. But Danielle, how are you following your own gut and doing Intuitive Eating with Big Brother on your wrist, tracking your every move? Well, I’m not tracking my food with it. I know! I’m probably losing out on a huge component of it, but honestly – I haven’t felt this good mentally about food in a very, very long time. I won’t lie, I was initially really concerned that I’d be a nutjob about not tracking my points, calories, carbs, fat grams, sodium, etc. etc. – especially with this nifty little thing on my wrist, but somehow I am not. I can’t explain how good it feels. Honestly, this is quite pathetic, but I have much more free time now that I’m not 150% obsessed with food. I read two very specific phrases in the book that were my “AHA” moments.
1. If you don’t love it – don’t eat it. If you love it, savor it. I know, this sounds SO simple, but stop and honestly think about it. If you don’t LOVE it – don’t eat it. How often are you eating because it’s there or you think you should? Me? All the time. Before every meal and then half way through now I am asking myself if I love it. More often than not, I realize I’m eating out of habit or what the “dieting mentality” told me to do and not listening to my body. Example: the other day after dinner I wanted something sweet. I opened one of those Siggi’s Icelandic Yogurts. I bought one because I wanted to try it. I took one bite and thought, “Eh… it doesn’t taste nearly as good as I thought it would.” AND I THREW IT AWAY… which brings in phrase two.
2. If it’s not waste, it’s waist. Aside from me being a sucker for punny things, how poignant? I felt instantly sad when I read that and realized that all these years that I’ve been a member of the clean plate club – eating every morsel on my plate because it was part of my daily allotment; I had the points/calories; I worked out enough to have it; it was a cheat day, etc I’ve been ignoring my body’s cues and developed such a lousy relationship with food. I could have thrown food away when I felt satisfied but because I felt like I had earned it, I ate it.
Deprivation is an insanely powerful thing. I realized as I was reading Intuitive Eating that perhaps my insatiable appetite for dry carbs and Mexican while I was pregnant wasn’t as much as what would have been very early pregnancy cravings, but more like I hadn’t allowed myself to have it in SO long that when I realized I was pregnant it suddenly felt okay to have. Like I needed some justifiable excuse.
Since I stopped dieting and started reading I’ve had Mexican 4 times. Each time I’ve tried to apply those two “AHA moments.” The first time – I ate every single morsel on my plate and enough chips/cheese dip to kill someone. The second time a bit less. The third time I realized I could have Mexican anytime I wanted now and didn’t have to stuff myself past the point of comfort – so I didn’t. The last time – I ate maybe half of my meal, enjoyed every single bite, but stopped when I felt satisfied and comfortable. My last bite wasn’t as enjoyable as my first and I wasn’t as hungry. I listed to my body. I reminded myself I could have Mexican at my next meal if I wanted so there was no need to gorge myself. Knowing I can eat it whenever I want and not feel guilty is so empowering.
Am I scared? Hell yes. Am I nervous I might gain weight? Hell yes. Am I excited to finally feel like I have some control and power over my body? Hell yes. WTF are you using your Fitbit for then? My FITbit is for FITness. More on that later. ❤