Bad Listener

So, I’m a bad listener.  I don’t follow directions well. Especially when it involves me not getting my way.

I’m having a difficult time balancing mental health with physical health. I NEED  to exercise for my sanity, but I need to rest my body for recovery. It’s such a slippery slope for me.

Since it has practically been raining non stop since Brooke was born the first day there was a break in the rain I jumped at my chance to take a short mile’ish walk. I leashed up the dog and Kevin got her situated in her stroller and off we went!

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It was glorious! A bit tricky figuring out how to control the stroller and the dog, but we figured it out about a quarter of a mile into our adventure. I felt SO much better just moving and getting out of the house.

Well, the next day I noticed I was sore above my incision. And by sore, I mean, doubling over in pain. Kevin would hear me wailing from the bathroom when I showered. After a couple of times of that he insisted I call my OBs office. The best way to describe the pain was that two wires that should never touch would randomly touch and send me into a state of electrocution. So, I went an saw my midwife. She said my incision looks great, but I still have swelling which is pressing against a nerve that’s trying to regenerate, causing me excruciating pain when the nerve is touched. The prognosis is that I am basically screwed until the swelling goes down in another 2-4 weeks and need to manage the pain with hydrocodone so I can function. (The catch 22 with the Hydrocodone is that it does such a good job relieving the pain that I forget I’m recovering and clean the whole house/do way too much because I feel up to it.)

I got the important question out of the way, “Can I walk?” To which she replied yes. So, when we got home I went for a 3’ish mile walk…that I found myself suddenly power walking through, breaking a sweat, feeling like a boss. But now I see the error in my ways…DUMB DUMB DUMB. The walk was great but the next day I was done. And I’ve been incredibly sore since then. Everything hurts again like I’m a week post op, not nearly 4 weeks. Everyone told me to take it easy – unfortunately, I’m a bad listener.

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Yesterday my runner mom friend from our birthing class came over with her husband and adorable son and we shot the shit. It was super nice to talk with someone that’s going through the same stuff and also getting back on the exercise wagon. Her son is 10 days older than Brooke and they’ll go to school together, which I think is super awesome.

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So, today I find myself in the same predicament as a few days ago. No rain and a stir crazy body that’s in a lot of pain, but now also aching to move.

The middle ground – Kevin and I are going to run to Teavanna (in the mall) and pick up a few things which means at least I can sneak a mall lap in, right?

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I also think for the first time ever I truly appreciate exercise for the way it makes me feel mentally and not for the weight loss aspect. I’ve always wanted to make the two totally unrelated but have struggled with it immensely. This is a welcomed feeling.

Lastly, because cute baby with a ridiculous bow.

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