Things have been going WAY better than I honestly could have expected. I’ve been on the Zoloft for a little over 2 weeks now and have felt a marked difference. It’s incredible. You really have no idea how poorly you were feeling until you feel good. Things I’ve been able to enjoy now: Bath time. … Continue reading
It’s really hard to talk about. It’s really hard to accept. But…I am. Just typing “postpartum anxiety” is giving me anxiety. Will people think I’m crazy? Will they think I want to hurt my daughter? Do they think I’m an awful mom? No, you’re being stupid. Relax. But…what if? I just chalked it up having … Continue reading
It’s weird to workout with the soul purpose to lose weight. Like, really weird. Especially when that was your thing for so long. I’ve learned quite a few things in the last 30’ish days: We are doing more like a P120X3. Working out 6 days a week isn’t all that realistic for us, but … Continue reading
Oh sweet girl, we snapped this of you before you went to school today. How are you 6 months old today? I feel like I held you for the first time just yesterday. The last few nights have been long, bouncing from room to room and bassinet to crib to arms to both of us … Continue reading
Hitting publish is my therapy. I’ve tried screaming into a pillow. I’ve tried talking to my husband. Tried talking to my best friend. I’ve tried crying. But for some odd reason nothing works like hitting publish for me. This will be scattered. This probably won’t make a lot of sense. But it will let me … Continue reading
It’s not all bad. I promise. I could fill page after page with all of the amazing little things Brooke does that just melt my heart, but they’re all things you truly don’t understand until they are your own flesh and blood. The first time she rolled over you would have thought it was the … Continue reading
I’m writing this over the course of a few days, maybe a week, maybe two weeks (it’s been two weeks now). I’m not sure yet. Fear is holding me back. Fear is immobilizing. Fear is temporary; regret is permanent. I found spin 4 years ago. Ok. Correction. I tried a spin bike 4 years and … Continue reading
Brooke is 100 days old today. Someone told me I was about to be out of the “100 days of darkness” period. I had no idea what they meant so I looked it up. Apparently, this is a thing. The 100 days of darkness are characterized with terror, being overrun with hormones, sleep deprivation, relationship … Continue reading
I remember hitting 200.2lbs on the scale and the fear being immobilizing. I couldn’t remember ever seeing a 1 in front. For months this paralyzed me. I would teeter right at 200lbs, never once seeing that elusive 1. 200.2, 202, 201.6, always close but never quite there. I was so frustrated. So angry. So desperately … Continue reading
I have to say it: I WAS RIGHT. Looks like my Western University of Google Medicine Medical Degree was spot on. Seriously though, if you think something is wrong and it’s in the pit of your stomach folks, chances are something IS wrong. Don’t push your mother’s intuition aside. You are your child’s biggest champion … Continue reading
Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude 