Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude

A younger friend of mine (mid 20s) recently asked if I could meet up with her to offer some advice. “Advice?” I thought, “What kind of advice can I offer someone? I’m only…30.” I haven’t met up with her yet, but it has been on my mind non stop. I’ve been racking my brain as to what she could want advice about. I still have dumb days, but for the most part, I am old enough to know better.  The truth of the matter is, I am 30 and have learned some valuable life lessons.

• Forgive. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and forgive people that have wronged you. It’s consuming to spend so much energy being angry and resentful. Let go and move on.

• Do not spend so much time trying to achieve the perfect body that you forget to love the one you currently have. The scale does not dictate your value as a human being. It won’t tell you what your sex appeal is, if you’re smart, if you’re funny, etc. The scale is just a numerical representation of your relationship with gravity. NOTHING ELSE.

• Give. Just give. Give hugs, give compliments, give love, give a smile, just give. You never know who needs it. Never let go of a hug first because you never know how badly someone needs it.

• Confidence is sexy. Don’t talk down to yourself. Find things you like about yourself and emphasize them. Don’t say things about/to yourself that you wouldn’t let someone else say. I always remember this one time where I was going on and on about everything I hated about my body. My husband asked me if I thought he made good decisions in life. I told him yes and he said to me, “I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you because I love you and I think you’re beautiful. I have to look at you everyday. I wouldn’t have married something I didn’t want to look at.” Tough to argue with that. Be kind to yourself, people.

• That little voice in your tummy is usually right, so listen to your gut when you want to take a leap in faith. Your gut will tell you more than you realize.

• Take care of your relationships (family and friends) outside of your husband/wife. The older we get the easier it is to let go – and that’s okay, but keep the people that truly have a place in your life. We get busy with work, families, etc. that you have to make time to nuture and love those other relationships. The relationships where they love you for who you are, push you to be better, and dream with you.  Invest time in these relationships, not the superficial ones that consume you, but the relationships that truly bring you joy, and you’ll be rewarded beyond measure.

• Live for today. It’s okay to screw up and make mistakes. You would rather wake up knowing what happened than wake up wondering what could have been.

• Say no. You cannot and will not make everyone happy. Start with yourself and life will be more enjoyable.

• Find your grey. In a world that is so black and white, it’s easy to fall into the extreme of one end or the other. Find a balance that works for you and find peace in it.

• Listen. Really listen. Someone once said that if you’re raising your hand to ask a question you’ve effectively stopped listening. You’re now thinking about what you want to say, your next comment, your retort, your justification, your excuse, you’re now thinking about you and therefore, have stopped listening. Don’t say a word and just take it all in. You miss a lot when you don’t listen.