I was standing in front of my Aunt and Uncle’s house and found comfort in this view. I took a deep breath and took off running. I processed and cleared my mind. 30 has been a difficult year for me. Not just because of my miscarriage, but because this is the year I’ve realized just how finite life is. Turning 30 made me say, “Life is really short – and I will die one day.” I felt like I was invincible up until 30. Within the last 6 months I have lost not only my own baby, but also my grandmother. I’ve seen death on both ends of the spectrum: young and old. This past weekend in Vermont brought almost a closure to it all for me. It put a lot into perspective and helped me re-focus on the important things in life.
Grammy’s service was beautiful. The weather was perfect, in fact, it was the only day we were there that had flawless weather. The Easter Lilly’s were still out and the scent was incredible when you stepped foot into the Church. I hadn’t been in that church since I was a child – and the last time I was there, I was with her. I was flooded with memories. The Mass was beautiful. She would have loved it.
I truly appreciated and understood the importance of my exercise while in Vermont. My mom and I ran all 4 days there. We made no excuses. I finally got it and understood how good it felt mentally to get up and move every morning.
The last day I ran by myself. My mom and my Aunt walked, but I needed to run. I needed to push myself. I needed to feel the cold wind on my face and blood pumping. Vermont is stunning to run in.
I needed it for my sanity. Even when it came down to lacing up and running in the rain, mom and I went. One morning we jogged to Dunkin Donuts, had coffee, and then jogged back to the hotel.
We did a lot of reminiscing and I learned a lot about my family that I never knew. We went through old pictures and had tons of laughs. We went through old pictures and had tears. I also found my Grandpa’s papers from WWII.
Every Summer I visited my Grammy I would play jewelry dress up with her. This trip I was given some of her jewelry. I haven’t taken her earrings out since and all of it has so many great memories attached.
I got to spend time with cousins I hadn’t seen in nearly 20 years. I got to catch up on everyone’s life. My cousins vow they’ll all come down for the Tap N’ Run 4k we do every year. I plan on holding them to it. I hate that it takes a funeral to get people together.
We went to a local Food Co – Op that I could have spent forever in. They had honey and tons of different types of oil on tap!
I made relatively good food choices and had a few drinks. I didn’t count points until I got home and realized that I really did make pretty good food choices since I never went over on my points, I just used all my weeklies!
Our flight home was good and I’m always amazed that the seat belt fits me with room to spare. It’s the best damn Non Scale Victory there is for me.
Speaking of seat belts – I got rear ended yesterday coming home from my first day back at work. I was at a red light and he was texting. He told me and the cop he “looked down at his phone and then there I was.” I have no bumper now, but I do have a horrible backache. I have to get a rental car and go through all of that. Fortunately for me this was his fault so his insurance will cover everything, which is good. I paid my car off this month. Since my back is killing me I skipped running; however, no one was seriously hurt, and that’s all that matters.
Like I said, this trip put a lot into perspective for me. I’ve done a pretty good job of not falling down the nut-job rabbit hole this go around, and this trip helped me reinforce that I do make pretty good decision on my own. I absolutely loved spending so much time with all of my family. My mom and I shared a hotel room, which means we shared laughs, tears, hugs and memories. Life is not measured by your weigh ins. Life is too short to live by the scale. Don’t get so caught up in who you want to be that you forget who you are. Live for the moment, it’s all that’s guaranteed.