Why you got so much fattitude?

I’ve always talked about writing a fatty girl blog and I’ve never done it. I guess now is as good of a time as ever. So, what is fattitude? To sum it up, me: being unapologetically fat. I’ve never taken anyone’s shit about it and I’ve always maintained a strong sense of self and a high level of confidence (….until now. But, we’ll get back to that.) I have never had a problem getting a man, I’ve never had  problem loving myself. I’ve never had an emotional issue with my size. I just honestly wanted to get healthy for my future, for my children, for my husband. (Getting back to my recent body issues….I don’t know this body and quite frankly, sometimes it really weirds me out. I still go to a size 24 dress even though I’m a 14. How can I embrace losing more when I cant embrace what I’ve lost? Note to self: explore that topic more in depth when feeling extremely philosophic and deep.) I like food. Correction, I like quality, well prepared food. I like butter, not margarine. I like cheese, not this reduced fat, separates when you melt it crap. I like cream, not fat free half and half, (which, by the way, is clearly just water with some white dye in it.) The only diet thing I do and enjoy is Coke Zero. So, this is my battle of trying to find a common ground between flavor and fitness. A lifestyle for me, because dieting doesn’t do it.

I’ve lost 106lbs…which at the end of the day is a lot, but damn, it feels like nothing. I never actually wanted it until now. And it’s a constant battle. A battle filled with fears and doubts and insecurities. A battle filled with things I’ve never had to face with a body this size, like riding a roller coaster and knowing I’ll fit. (Former Fatty problem #413.)  A battle that is still 69lbs away from calling a truce, but always remaining on unchartered territory.

I watched a TV show featuring triathletes and thought it’d be a fantasticidea to sign up for a super sprint triathlon. WHAT WAS I THINKING? My big old 218lb ass trying to do a tri. HAHA! Anyhow, I’m signed up. I’m registered. I’m paid. I’m training. Shit, I’m training. It’s real now. It’s 88 days away. And top it all off, after registering and paying $62 for this triathlon, in the same sitting, thought it’d also be brilliant to register for not only four other 5ks, but also a 10k. At least this is good motivation to keep exercising…..right? I read an article on a woman that completed the Ironman Competition (get ready for it…. that’s a 2.4 mile swim, 112mile bike ride and then a full 26.2 marathon) in 1st place, not once, not twice, but four times. Yes, fourtimes. Wrap your mind around that. Anyhow, she said one of her things is to write her mantra on her arm during the Tri so she can remember it. I’m trying to come up with my mantra. So far, all I have is, “For tonight’s glass of whiskey.” For some odd reason I fear no one will appreciate it.

So, raise whatever you’re drinking and here’s to finding confidence in my weight loss and dropping the next 69lbs.


5 thoughts on “Why you got so much fattitude?

  1. I think that you are brave for doing what you’re doing. Keep up the good work! You’ve managed to pass the 100lb weight loss goal which is so difficult especially when you’ve barely started, like me! I have to lose 100 lbs and I’m down to 14 lbs and boy oh boy am I having a hard time with it!!!! But you inspire me to continue! Good luck!

  2. I like that mantra!!!! Good on you for losing so much weight! Tht is incredible. I also live in this torn world of healthy vs. food quality. I love quality food! However,I have learned over the past few months,that I can certainly adjust to low fat cheese. It took a lot of money and cheese to find one I like! It takes time and persistence to figure out what works. You probably already know that,with all the success you’ve had thus far. Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more blogs from you!

  3. I’m planning on doing a 10k in June! But registration doesn’t open until May 1, so I have a ways to go. I am doing about 1 5k a month just to make sure I am on track.

    Good luck with the triathlon!

    With the cooking, try giving up the unhealthy things like butter and salt. I always make very healthy, well prepared flavorful meals. I wouldn’t have been able to los weight without it. Try olive oil (sparingly) instead of butter. Try replacing cheese on your burgers with 1/4 an avocado. Replace sour cream with greek yogurt (mayo as well). I make both chicken and tuna salad with greek yogurt now. (check out my blog, I recently dedicated an entire post to greek yogurt). Part of it is teaching your body to enjoy food differently. Maybe instead of using reduced fat cheese (which is barely food) use high quality parmesan, which is a healthier cheese.

    Yeah I’ve spent a lot fo time adapting my food, so feel free to message me if you have any questions!

  4. Well written
    You already have so much to be proud of. I wish just once in my life I could have a huge weight loss. But I do understand your struggles. actually it soulds like myself in some ways. Keep going and be proud of your success.


  5. Yari: Don’t give up. It takes forever. A lot of failures and I lot of successes. Keep in mind, 14lbs is further ahead than people not taking control back.

    Unskinny: Brand of cheese? I’m willing to try. I usually end up taking one bite and trashing it.

    MMW: Yeah, never giving up butter and salt. haha. It’s not a reasonable life change for me. Maybe you, but I know that when I give up things I love, I never stick with it. I cook. I come from a culinary family and you just dont cook with margarine and somethings just need butter. I dont care for greek yogurt either. It’s sour and weird. They say your taste changes every 7 years…I like coconut now. Maybe I’ll try it again in 7 years. Thanks though.

    bfcchick: Thanks! Trust me, a huge weight loss is nothing if you put it back on. Slow and steady. I’ve lost 106lbs over the course of years. It certainly wasnt an over night adventure.

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