Tagged with miscarriage

The Difference of a Year

The Difference of a Year

It’s Christmas morning and I’ve just laid Brooke back down after a 630am feeding; a third successful night of sleep with our new routine. *fingers crossed* If you had told me last year that I would have a beautiful baby right now I wouldn’t have believed you. I’m still trying to wrap my head around … Continue reading

Rainbow Baby

Rainbow Baby

“In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.” I finally have my rainbow baby. I finally have my rainbow baby. I wasn’t sure this would ever happen. 10 days later she’s still here and she’s still … Continue reading

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I honestly thought today would easy. Baby girl is going nuts and just kicking away as I type this. I’ve had a very healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy to date and I’m in the home stretch, but today is still not easy. The amazing life inside of me doesn’t mean my two previous pregnancies were any less … Continue reading

Invincible Summer

Invincible Summer

A couple of Kevin’s coworkers sent us the most beautiful flower arrangement that did wonders for my spirit. It made me feel hopeful and gave me purpose. As soon as I started feeling sad I’d look at these flowers and be reminded that even though things feel so ugly, there is still beauty in the … Continue reading

Grattitude

Grattitude

Thank you. A lot of people have said they’re encouraged, inspired, and thankful I’ve been so open with our infertility struggle, with our now second miscarriage, etc. And some people don’t get it. It’s such a personal, intimate thing someone goes through. I’m sharing the most inner details of my life. Our lives. I ask Kevin … Continue reading

Gutted

I guess there is no easy way to say this. It happened again. We made it to 5 weeks this time. We found out at 3w3d, told our immediate family at 4 weeks and had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. I was going to tell the rest of our family on Christmas and tell y’all … Continue reading

51 weeks and 1 day

51 weeks and 1 day

The truth of the matter is, it all still feels like yesterday. I remember the music that was playing when I checked into my appointment. I remember where we both sat in the waiting room. I still remember exactly what I was wearing the day the ultrasound tech couldn’t find the heartbeat. It’s been 51 … Continue reading

Secondary Infertility

Secondary Infertility

It’s been one hell of a year, hasn’t it? If you’ve stuck with me, I am grateful beyond words. If you read all of this, I am grateful beyond words. I had a mini melt down with my Stend (I’m Befri and she’s Stend – a combination of best friend) yesterday and told her part … Continue reading

The Space Between Us

The Space Between Us

 I weighed 325lbs and never once thought I was unattractive. In fact, I thought I was hot. Smoking hot. Curvy, thick, and juicy. If you tried to tell me otherwise I would have laughed in your face.  My confidence attracted people. I had boyfriends and heart breaks. People either hated me or loved me, but either way I still always had … Continue reading

My Mental Health Realization

My Mental Health Realization

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve deleted this and then retyped it. Mental Health is such a hard topic to write about. It’s taboo. It’s scary. It’s the unknown. It’s the societal norms that still aren’t quite accepting. You’ve been with me through it all. The good days, the bad days, the weight … Continue reading