When you Google about being fat and pregnant you get a TON of info that’s basically all doom and gloom about how you will die, your baby will die, everyone you love will die, and maybe if you weren’t so damned fat none of this would have happened, Fatty McFatterson. The world, especially doctors, hate you, you damned hippopotamus.
I am NOT ignoring that there are definitely increased risks; however, tons of women, women bigger than me and women smaller than me, have really healthy pregnancies. Tons of women, women bigger than me and tons of women smaller than me, have really complicated pregnancies. Correlation does not always prove causation.
I refused to fall into the mentality of my pregnancy being any less beautiful because I’m fat. I saw a reflection of myself yesterday and thought, “Ugh. You look huge. Not pregnant. Just huge.” NOPE. I am done with that. My body is finally doing this amazing thing I’ve begged it to for the last 2 years and here I am criticizing it? What is wrong with me? I mean, seriously, how many women (regardless of size) can say they did a half marathon while pregnant?
As I previously said, I have an absolutely stellar OBGYN. I say this because not only is he brilliant, but he’s personable and incredibly body positive. (Seriously, if you’re in ATL and needing a great OBGYN – holla and I’ll give you his info.) We had a conversation at our last appointment that went like this:
Me: I’m super scared my weight will play a negative role in this pregnancy. I weigh 40lbs more than I did the first time and that one didn’t end well. I’ve heard that fat women are more likely to have complicated births and need c-sections. I was really hoping to go natural.
Him: Well, here’s the thing. You are at an increased risk for different things – like say gestational diabetes, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. Also, bigger women are more likely have bigger babies, but this doesn’t mean that you will. If you did, a bigger baby might mean that the baby won’t fit down your birth canal. So then we’d need to do a c-section. This will all center around your health and the baby’s health, not your weight.
*Instantly I felt better. He’d taken the shift and the focus off of my weight and put it where it really matters – me and the baby’s health.*
Me: Ok. Also, how much weight should I gain? I’ve heard obese women should only gain 9-11lbs.
Him: I’d like to see you gain around 18lbs, but here’s the thing – if you gain more, you gain more. You know how to take it off. Don’t beat yourself up. You’ve already got nausea and vomiting, so eat what sounds good. Now is NOT the time to lose weight.
*GASP – Did someone just tell me not to lose weight?*
The left is 4 weeks, the right is this morning (8 weeks). I’m definitely bloated and my boobs have grown over a full cup size. But, honestly, I really don’t think I look *that* different. Not enough to warrant my harsh self criticism the other day.
Come the 2nd trimester (in a month) I’ll start thinking about the gym and adding some healthier components to my diet, but right now I’m just focusing on keeping food down and getting sleep.
I’ve put on some pounds. Mostly because I’m so nauseous that all I’ve really eaten for the last month are carbs and carbs blow me up. Pretzels, rice, pasta, couscous, saltines, TONS of fresh fruit (craving), bread, muffins, ice cream, the occasional ginger ale etc. It’s all I can really stomach the thought of. I never allowed myself such carbs, but then again, I’ve never been nauseous 24/7 with the occasional round of vomit thrown in. Hell, I’m sitting here eating a handful of pretzels and a couple of plums. (Side note: in all seriousness, I actually love the constant nausea – it’s very reassuring.)
I haven’t exercised since the half. I was on bed rest for 2 weeks and well, I’m exhausted – my OB says that the Progesterone supplements will make you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck on top of the first tri fatigue. When they reduced me to only once a day I said to my NP, “Maybe I’ll actually go to the gym now!” and she replied, “Oh my god, Danielle. Stop. The gym can wait. Take a nap.” Have I told you how much I love that office? So, now instead of coming home from a 10 hour shift and beating myself up for not going to the gym, I take a short nap.
It saddens me how so many pregnant women don’t want their picture taken because they think they look fat. I have so many pregnant friends on FB and there are so few pictures of them while pregnant. I wanna see all the different bumps! They’re gorgeous! Kevin and I want to track the beautiful changes my body is going through on a weekly basis – so he’s going to take pictures of me. Though I think I want to start standing to the side to really see it. Grow baby, grow!