This time next week I’ll be in surgery. Tummothy’s great departure will have begun. And I am so in my head. The anxiety of the surgery has come and gone. The anxiety of recovery has come and gone. But now I’m in my head wondering, “Have I done enough?” Have I lost enough weight? It’s … Continue reading
Tagged with body image …
5 Weeks
Holy crap, my baby is 5 weeks today and I’m 7 weeks from “allowed” running. Monster*: Girlfriend is doing well! She had her one month appointment today and the Doctor is pleased with her growth. I was a nervous wreck that she wasn’t gaining enough weight. I’m the only person I know that has waited … Continue reading
I stopped caring
Something happened after my last post. She kicked and I saw my belly move. Suddenly, everything made sense. I’m growing a fucking baby inside of me. What is WRONG with me? Why am I being so neurotic??? So, I’m done caring about what everyone else thinks. I get 40 weeks (give or take) to grow … Continue reading
Pregnancy Compliment Skeptic
I’m struggling accepting that my body is no longer my own body. Like really struggling. Last night, as I was getting ready for bed I noticed a glistening white lightening bolt on my tummy. A stretch mark trying to make its appearance. The tears started streaming down my face as I climbed into bed. … Continue reading
The Calm Before the Storm
It’s an addiction. I know I have an addictive personality. I know I have to be careful. I know I think in black and white terms. And yet I still think about it. Dieting. Weight loss. The control. The restriction. The beauty of it all. I miss my spreadsheets. I miss the scale going down. … Continue reading
Body Positive Pregnancy
When you Google about being fat and pregnant you get a TON of info that’s basically all doom and gloom about how you will die, your baby will die, everyone you love will die, and maybe if you weren’t so damned fat none of this would have happened, Fatty McFatterson. The world, especially doctors, hate you, … Continue reading
What is healthy?
I’ve read that some 95% of people regain their lost weight and many gain even more than what they originally lost. Weight loss has two sides: mental and physical. Most people *think* they have the mental aspect down, but when shit hits the fan there is no telling what happens. Weight loss is probably more … Continue reading
Taking Control Back
I’ve never understood how someone can weigh in just once a week. Scales are meant to weigh yourself with multiple times. Multiple times a day. Hi, my name is Danielle and I’m a scale addict. My obsession with the scale has impacted me negatively in the following ways: it dictates my mood for the day. A huge loss … Continue reading
I’m trying
I’m trying. God knows I’m trying. I’m trying to find the balance between sanity and insanity; something I most often struggle with. Either I weigh in compulsively or not at all. I haven’t stepped foot onto the scale since my Post Op appointment. Kevin says he is glad I’m not torturing myself, but I can’t … Continue reading
Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude 