Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Muffins – 6PP | Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude

ERMAGHERD YES PLEASE. I took my blueberry muffins and made them chocolate chip. Hellz to the yes. Oh hai breakfast, you so sexy. Best part? ONE BOWL and a food processor! Ridiculously easy clean up. If you were set on Blueberry, swap the chocolate chips for 1 cup of FRESH blueberries. If you use frozen toss them in flour to prevent the bleeding.

Alright, the cast includes:

1 2/3 cups quick-cooking oats
3 ounces all-purpose flour (about 2/3 cup)
2.33 ounces whole-wheat flour (about 1/2 cup)
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups low-fat buttermilk (OR 1.5 cups milk + 1.5 teaspoons vinegar)
1/4 cup canola oil
2 teaspoons orange marmalade
2 large eggs
1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat your oven to 400 and measure all of your thangs out. I promise this makes your life so much easier.

Now, if you’re one of those awesome people that keeps buttermilk on hand, good for you. If not, here’s the bootleg method of making your own homemade buttermilk. I have the weird measuring cups in my pantry, so baking/measuring can be a breeze. Anyhow – put 1.5 teaspoons of white vinegar in and then fill with milk. Let it sit for 5 minutes while you’re doing everything else so the magic happens. For you fancy pants with buttermilk in your fridge, don’t worry about it. Pretend you never read this. We don’t exist.

Aight – pulse your oatmeal in a food processor about 5-6 times. Just break it down some. Nothing too fancy. You’re just making kinda sorta coarse flour. It adds a little texture and yumminess. I’m sure if you didnt own a food processor and didn’t want to do it by hand your world would not end and you could just throw the oatmeal in. I won’t tell anyone.

Throw that oatmeal into big bowl and put it on your Kitchen Scale & measure out your two flours into the bowl & then add your brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, baking power and baking soda. It’s easy as 1-2-3.

Oh snaps! Mix it all up and make a well for Timmy. Channel your inner Lassie. Add your bootleg buttermilk (or the real deal, monsieur fancy pants), oil, eggs and orange marmalade. Now, if you don’t have orange marmalade, calm your tits. You can use lemon rind, a splash of OJ, whatevers your want. All this does is brighten the flavor up.

I digress, mix that shit up. It’s going to seem runny and all wrong. You will question everything you know about baking and think I’m leading you astray. I promise I am not. I promise this to you. Alright, throw some chips on that ho. Alright, and here’s the part where you definitely wont trust me. I understand. I’d be nervous, maybe a little afraid too. I want you to fill those SOBs up. There isn’t enough rising agent for them to over flow. Make 15 muffins. But no Danielle, NO!!!! My oven will be screwed! You are tricking me! I hate you. Just do it! Cause look…ERMAGHERD. 20 minutes in the oven! Look at them rise! No spillage.