Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude

I’m about to bitch. A lot. I mean a lot. A lot. If you don’t want to hear it, stop reading. I never thought I’d get to this point of being D.O.N.E. “Been there – done that” moms – you were right. There comes a point in your pregnancy where you are just over it. I, fortunately, hit this point at 39 weeks 3 days. Today, I am 39 weeks 6 days. I just keep telling myself that no one is pregnant forever, but I also never knew that the last week of pregnancy is not the standard 7 days, but actually 7928 days.

Midwife confirmed I’ve been in early labor since Saturday. SATURDAY. 5’ish days now. It’s now Thursday and not a damn baby to show for it. The dog won’t leave my side though.

I’m cranky. I’m exhausted – mentally and physically. I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’ve had a taste of what’s to come with the contractions because I’m having legit, back wrapping, radiating down my thighs, stop you dead in your tracks, can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t think through them contractions. I just can’t get them closer than 10 minutes apart for at least an hour.

Everything has gotten more intense over the last 48 hours which basically means jack shit because THERE IS STILL NO BABY TO SHOW FOR IT.

Here’s how the last 48 hours have gone:

Tuesday, December 1st 2015:

3pm: Membrane sweep. WOOHOO! Let’s get this show started!

6pm: Eggplant Parm. Sex. Walking. Birthing ball.

8pm: A few contractions and lots of hopeful wishes that OMG I’M GONNA HAS A BABY!!!

11pm: Go to bed. I need my rest!

Wednesday, December 2nd 2015:

1230am-130am: Full on bloody show. Wake up with legit contractions. With very very very real contractions. Start timing them. They are coming ever 20 minutes and on a scale of 1-10 with pain are around an 8. They are lasting for 1 minute.

130am-300am: Contractions are now lasting for 1 minute and coming every 10 minutes. They are still about an 8.

3am: Decide to take a shower and move downstairs to labor until they’re a little more frequent before waking Kevin. Take amazing shower and labor in there for awhile.

330am-600am: Lay on the couch with the cat and dog as they give me incredibly judgy looks while I have contractions. Writhe in pain, but feel incredibly excited that it’s finally happening!

600am-700am: Contractions are now anywhere between 4-8 minutes apart and still at an 8. I’ve woken Kevin. I’ve called my mom. I am ready.

730am: NOPE. Baby girl said, “Nah, I’m good in here, mom.” Contractions slow to about 45 minutes.

730am-11:59pm: Contractions are anywhere from 15 minutes apart to 45 minutes apart. They are still the back wrapping, thigh radiating, holy shit, maybe I can’t do this contractions. Feeling super discouraged.

Thursday, December 3rd 2015:

12am-3am: Same nonsense as yesterday. Every 10-15 minutes. An 8 on a scale of 1-10.

300am-400am: Take a hot bath and try to coax girlfriend out.

400am-700am: Writhe in pain in bed.  Still an 8. 20 minutes apart.

730am: NOPE. Nada. Nothing.

940am (now): Contractions are back to every 45 minutes. Definitely past cranky.

WHAT.THE.FUCK.???

So, tomorrow I have another OB appointment and if I haven’t had her by the end of the weekend we are scheduled for an induction since I’ll be 40.3 weeks pregnant come Monday. She’s already big (90th percentile) and they don’t want complications arising from her size. I really wanted to avoid having an induction/Pitocin, but her health and safety are WAY more important to me than any birth plan I have.

I’m just SO ready to meet her. Come on out, little girl. You’ll have so much more room and freedom.