I was going back and forth on my fatty forums with Sunarie, a delightful user, about if I want to do the half marathon I am registered for. I have 10 weeks to train. Training would start TODAY.
Our conversation went something like this:
Me: 13.1 miles of nothing but running…I hate running. I love cycling and swimming, but for some damn reason I’m determined to make myself a runner.
Her: Is there something about running that makes you want to make yourself a runner?
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her question. What is it about running? Why is it such kryptonite for me? Why am I so determined to be a runner despite hating it? I started to do some reading with Mr. Google to see if any of that rung a bell. It did not.
So, why? Why am I so damn determined to become a runner?
I searched SMF for this to see if maybe I’ve put my finger on it before. Nope. Just a lot of me bitching about actually running, but loving the feeling after.
After much soul searching, here is why I want to make myself a runner:
Because I’m not one.
Because I set out to run a 5k without stopping 3 years ago and to this day, I still take walking breaks.
Because I’ve done actual endurance events, but running still makes me its bitch.
Because I’m sick of feeling defeated. Sick of feeling like I can’t. Sick of feeling held back.
Sick of trying and not doing.
10 weeks.
In 10 weeks I will be a runner – like it or not, because I’m running a half marathon.
True story: Half the reason I actually registered for the half marathon was because I was fairly certain/praying/hoping I’d get pregnant and not be able to run it anyway. That’s straight up real talk. Well, I’m not pregnant and we’re not trying; so, I’m lacing up my running shoes. Time to put my money where my mouth is.
Damn girl, that's a lot of fattitude 
Are there any running groups near you? I found that when I joined a club, I felt relieved to know that there were many other people who were my standard (and even a few who were slower). I was taught technique, which helped to guard against injury… but most importantly, it became a social event for me. I LOVED meeting up with the other runners and as we chatted, I forgot that I was getting tired and that my legs hurt. We motivated each other and kept each other going. Before long, my one run a week became the highlight of my week… and ended up becoming two or three runs a week as I met other people from the group for our own social runs. I know you work hideous hours and fitting in running isn’t easy, but are there others you can run with? Good luck – you got this! 🙂
HAHA i loved this post and feel the same way about running. I’m not as hell bent on becoming one but would like to be able to run for anything more than 3 minutes as that’s my limit at the moment. Looking forward to reading about your progress!x
Just wanted to say don’t give up! This is my second round of weight loss (I gained oodles of weight during my pregnancy and am starting over), but when I first started running at 220ish lbs I couldn’t run more than 1-2 blocks without stopping. It took over a year, but I still remember the first 2 times I ran 3 miles without stopping. I literally cried. I felt such freedom in it and so proud of myself. I eventually lost a total of 60lbs, but like I said, i gained all of it and more back during my pregnancy. I am now starting from scratch and just keep thinking about the fact that I KNOW its possible this time around.
Keep it up and thanks for sharing!